Results: Pregnant

I'm a blunt person. Honesty is the best policy unless it's going to get you in trouble. Then I find that distraction is the way to go. When you don't get your period there is not really anything to distract you from your pending doom. So it's time to go to the drug store and buy the dreaded test. Since I'm blunt I don't deal with the tests that are plus or minus, or blue or pink. I like to know so I buy the digital "Pregnant or Not Pregnant" tests. 


It's a quiet evening in 2006 when I decided to pee on this little stick that will determine my fate for the next 20 years of my life....or not. I pretty much already know the results since my entire Mexican family are super fertile. If our spouses look at us we will spontaneously explode into full-blown pregnancy. If it's anything longer than a look we could be talking triplets. So after pulling my pants back on I must wait 3 FULL minutes before the test results are shown. 


2 minutes to go.....


1 minutes to go.....


30 seconds to go......


Getting the idea??


"Honey, it's time" 


PREGNANT!!! Cue the crying. Why? Well because I don't like life-changing surprises. Sure I love to be surprised with a trip to Bora Bora - not that it's ever happened but miracles can happen. So I start crying, mostly because we are living in a one-bedroom apartment and I feel that babies should be living in a large house with full-time nannies. I've been watching too much Keeping up with the Kardashians.


Well I thoroughly freak my husband out because he instantly assumes the worst of everything and is apparently beginning to think that I am crying because I'm not sure who the father is. Just to be clear I DO KNOW!!! So then like any sane woman does I stop crying and start laughing because I've been crying. I realize, hey I've got a good job with benefits, I'm married and the cherry on top is YES it is his baby. So I decide that I'm being irrational - which I'm sure was the first and last time of my life - and embrace that I have a little bugaboo growing inside my still slim and cute body. Keep in mind all of this has happened in about 45 minutes. What can I say? I adjust quickly.