Deja Vu

2 minutes......


1 minute......


30 seconds......


How can I be taking another pregnancy test 3 months after I just had my son????


PREGNANT!!!! Cue the crying! This is obviously a pattern for me. 
1. Buy test
2. Take test
3. PREGNANT!!!
4. Cry!


Why am I crying this time?? Oh I don't know, maybe because I just barely got the clear from my Doc to engage in adult activities again. Damn that Doc!!! I'm sure it's all her fault. 


Fast forward to July 2008 where my son is 11 months and I have just given birth (au naturel - HORROR!!!) to my daughter. I have what people refer to as Irish twins. But I have a boy and a girl so I am done. No seriously, I found out what kept causing the "PREGNANT" result so I rectified the situation. I even went to far as to have something implanted in my arm to keep from having to pee on that cry-inducing stick again. 


My 2 sweet babies are a joy and a handful to have. I decide that I am going to be a stay-at-home mom. It lasts until my daughter is 5 months. Let me just say, if you are a SAHM I have the utmost respect for you. You must have the patience of a saint. I do not. I'm not ashamed to admit it. The first step is admitting you have a problem. So after 8 months of staying home I decided to go back to work partly because I missed it but mostly because we needed the income. So I did and got to socialize with adults again. It was great. Cue the Mommy Guilt!! Shouldn't I be crying?? Shouldn't I be counting the seconds until I can go home?? Well I wasn't so I finally just learned to deal with it. 


So now 3 years later my kids are happy, healthy, well-adjusted preschoolers. They love school, there is so much to do and plenty of friends to play with. I'm sure they think "Oh crap, Mommy is here to take us home!" when they see me. But the alternative is the scared and crying child that won't let their parent go when they are dropped off at daycare preschool (apparently there is a difference!!!). 


I believe I have made the right decision for my family. They seem as normal as they can be given the parents they were given. Only time and therapy will truly be able to tell.